Leben Lied
by SlenderMonkey
Summary: Can you truly love someone you can never forgive? Giving Kohta her real name, Kaede does not question this tension in their relationship. Even so, the gratitude in letting her stay by his side binds this woman to this man, but remains in place with a constant unease for the Diclonius Queen. She knows her mission is not done, and knows that evil remains after the death of Kakuzawa.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This story is set three years after the final episode of Elfen Lied. It is a continuation of the anime, and because of this, it is set in the anime's version of the world. Elements from the manga do not apply, except for Lucy's real name, Kaede. Silpelits age at the same rate as humans in this world, since there is nothing in the anime that indicates that they don't. Nana is physically and mentally 16, and her rate of growth and lifespan are no different from anyone else's. Mayu is one year older, and was the one who assigned Nana a birthday and an accurate estimate of her age.

* * *

The chill in the air was unseasonable for late summer in Kamakura, though not unheard of. Dark rainclouds had made up most of the sky the last several days, and this morning found a fine layer of frost covering the stone steps of the short courtyard of Kaede House. The first hint at winter made an early appearance, though the churning of the grey ocean and its soft, constant roar suggested building energy rather than slowing down. It was almost as if the water were writhing in pain for lack of the sunlight upon it, crying out in loneliness.

Kaede slipped into consciousness as softly as the waves she heard in the distance. In the dimly lit room, she saw her breath hang in the air. Shivering, she drew up her legs and tried to fit more of her body under the inadequate blanket. Collecting herself, she rose and closed the nearby patio door, which had offered a pleasant night breeze hours before. Kaede pushed her thick hair out of her eyes and stood, hand on hip, over the futon on which Kohta remained asleep, unmoved by the chill.

The cold had permeated the room, and Kaede was naked, but she didn't so much as flinch as she stood. Her period of imprisonment had seen her unclothed nearly all of the time, and as her former cell was always cold, she was less sensitive to these things than she would have been otherwise. So why had she shivered? Kaede came to the answer with gradual horror as she rapidly became fully awake. This was a deep, very nearly physical sensation she had not felt for three years.

Wrenching open the sliding door she had just closed, Kaede vaulted over the threshold and landed among the damp, crunchy ice crystals. Barely aware of them coming out, she pushed two vectors toward the ground and practically soared over the fence with the momentum. From her position in midair, Kaede scanned the area below, her eyes straining in the grey dawn. She could not stop the isolated tears that sprang forth as her legs absorbed the impact. Staggering for a moment, Kaede began to run down the empty street at top speed, following the intangible call of the Diclonius that she sensed.

"I shouldn't be surprised," she said to herself, and winced as her foot caught on a pointed rock. Ignoring the pain, Kaede adjusted her speed as the slope increased toward the ocean, and pavement gave way to sand. Reaching the water's edge, Kaede halted suddenly, and spun around defensively, looking in all directions.

"These girls... they're like my children..." she mused, and remained remarkably still as her four vectors kicked up sand and created a whirlwind around her. Anything coming at Kaede from any direction would be shredded.

It was true that many Silpelits born within the last twenty years were the children of humans infected by Kaede's vectors. Until she was about ten, however, she was never aware of or in control of these arms. This meant that Kaede could have infected any number of people who had been around her from early in life leading up that fateful day when a gang of boys beat her dog to death. Kaede's fury exploded in an instantaneous bloodbath, and the power of invisible, severing, biohazardous death became hers. Reflecting upon this possibility in the years following the loss of her horns filled Kaede with a new regret to add to the others she carried, even though it was something she could not have possibly prevented.

Kaede did her best not to think about those matters that separated her from humanity at large, let alone the numerous evils that she had both committed and opposed. Even so, in her quiet moments of touching upon the surreal peace of this new life, Kaede considered the facts of what she knew about her kind, her abilities, and her ultimate purpose. From what she had discovered about the Kakuzawa family, it was clear that the vector virus was much older than her, despite her role as the queen, center of the Kanagawa epidemic.

Indeed, the appearance of her vectors at this odd hour was an incredibly rare occurence in Kaede's new life. Since the night her other horn was lost, she took the Director's head, and she was astonished to find herself alive, Kaede swore to herself never to use her vectors for anything. The fact that her arms were now fully extended, and prepared to kill, ran on the same emotion that would be unlocked if Kohta were in mortal danger. And at present, that was a definite possibility to Kaede. She had sensed another Diclonius, and a deep, savage hatred. This was certain in her mind, and now the air was tense with the sensation of imminent death made tangible by the wind of her vectors.

There was no one on the shore. Kaede was looking around for a Silpelit, a girl younger than her, doubtless with a childish and distressed look in their eyes, but saw no one. There were no humans, either, which was readily apparent at this early hour. If there were, they would have seen a naked woman inexplicably surrounded by swirling sand on a calm day, scanning the shoreline with such focus and intensity that Kaede could have been mistaken for a furious goddess, newly emerged from the sea.

"Where..."

The feeling of dread and received hatred subsided. Kaede saw no one, and the threat of immediate danger evaporated. As the forcefulness of her gaze diminished, Kaede's head dropped slightly in puzzlement, and her shoulders relaxed. The vectors that were previously whirling rapidly receded. Had she been wrong? No, there was no mistaking that inhuman perception that regular people could never grasp, and the blind rage that accompanied it. So why did it just vanish? Was this a dream?

Kaede's new suspicion was exacerbated by the approaching figure she saw come from the path leading up to Kaede House, the very way she had come. It was Kohta. He appeared wide awake in spite of the time, looking disheveled and wearing a short yukata. The two of them locked eyes, and seconds passed by until Kohta, though waking, ran down to the beach.

"Kaede! What are you doing? You do know you're naked, right?"

Kaede's face slackened and her pose became something between ease and modesty, with one arm drawn under her breasts and the other across her hips, half-heartedly.

"I'm... sorry. People will almost be out."

Kohta got closer, and gave a small sigh while holding out another yukata. He draped it over Kaede's shoulders, but she took two steps backward and tied it herself.

"What's gotten into you? Were you sleepwalking or something?"

She brought up her gaze to him again, and paused very briefly before nodding. "Yes. I must have been. I'm as surprised as you are."

"Still, I've never heard of any sleepwalker moving so quickly, let alone all the way down here."

Kaede guessed that Kohta hadn't seen her use her vectors to move over the wall, and she was relieved enough to crack a faint smile when he put an arm around her, saying "Let's head back."

For the time being, Kaede thought, she would let relief take over, and deal with this mystery when Kohta wasn't around. For all she knew, she could have been sleepwalking, but that sensation, the presence of another Diclonius... Well, Kaede was not exactly a stranger to nightmares and waking up in a screaming panic.

"It's a bit warmer now," said Kohta softly as birdsong broke the waves' monotony.

"Yeah... I'm... sorry to worry you, Kohta. I don't know what happened."

"Hey, it's all right. I was just so surprised that you went out all of a sudden, but I figured you'd come here."

"Oh... That's because..."

Kohta slowed his pace up the hill slightly, giving a puzzling expression when he said "I've met you like this before. You remember, right?"

"Yes," Kaede said. At this, Kohta's odd expression turned into a wistful smile.

"I know I could never forget something like that," he went on, "Seeing a naked girl on the beach like that, out of nowhere. But you know, Kaede, you weren't yourself then, right? You were, uh… Nyu. You looked different, too."

It was true that Kaede's hair was longer when she had washed up on Yuigahama beach those three years prior, seemingly an eternity ago. She had since kept her hair at shoulder-length, mirroring the way she had kept it as a child. What's more, Kaede's Diclonius horns had been broken off, allowing her to pass as a human, in spite of her uncommonly vibrant hair color. The thing that most distinguished how Kaede was then compared to the present was the infantile Nyu persona created after being brain-damaged in her escape from the government facility. Since Kaede's injury had healed, she was not averse to the opinion that, in some way, Nyu had been manufactured as a means to leave the horror of her existence. She had admitted to Kohta that Nyu was the only way that both of them could interact without uncovering the ugly truth. But Nyu was gone now, from Kaede's injury healing, but also from the necessity of the truth coming to light. There was no going back to that innocence, for either of them, because justice would not allow it.

"I feel as though I've lived here for a long time," Kaede started again as she and Kohta came within view of the inn. "Who I was then and who I am now are different people. Not completely different, but not the same."

"Your memories are what are most important, Kaede."

"Yes, the good... and the bad."

Kohta broke his gaze. "It's... It's good that both of us remember who we were and who we are."

Kaede paused on the slope.

"And... who will we be?"

Kohta was silent, seemingly looking around for an answer, then he gave a short laugh.

"Why so serious today? Is work getting you down?"

"No. No, don't worry about that," she said, pushing aside her long bangs. "It keeps my mind busy, among other things."

_Is this real?_ Kaede thought. _Is it... all right for me to be here, like this? The wrongs I've done him won't ever go away, so, is it right for us to be happy together?_

Stealing a glance at Kohta's upturned face in the sunlight, looking toward the approaching Kaede House, Kaede repeated that mantra that she had burned into her brain ever since she was welcomed back into Kohta's home: _He's happy; it's your obligation to keep him happy. It's the least you can do._

Like so many times before, Kaede's confidence was restored, and her smile fluttered as she drew Kohta's arm closer, as she said "Sorry. About running out like that. I don't know what happened to me."

"Well, it's all right. I mean, there wasn't anyone in sight. I think... it's healthy to do something reckless like that every now and then."

Kaede blushed ever so slightly.

"But, Kohta, I said I didn't know what I was doing."

"Yeah, but, you're a girl who really doesn't mind being nude at all. Imagine if you were really uptight and this happened! You'd be mortified."

At the courtyard, Kohta stepped out of his sandals and switched to house slippers, just as a familiar patter of feet came down the staircase. Nana stopped on the second-last step and gave a quizzical look with her tilted body. Kaede wasn't surprised; though the presence of a Silpelit in the same house as her had become so usual that she had become innured to it, she could still track Nana's whereabouts wherever she might be in town.

"Oh, there you two are," Nana said, in the midst of a yawn she tried to stifle. "Out for an early-morning lovers' stroll?"

"I was just sleepwalking," fired back Kaede, before Kohta could open his mouth. "Don't you have school today, Nana?"

A somewhat petulant frown darkened the younger girl's face.

"Hmph. That's right."

"Nana, I thought you loved school?" said Kohta, showing his usual concern.

"Today we have a Japanese test, and I don't know if I'll pass."

Kohta put a fatherly hand on Nana's shoulder.

"Hey, I know you'll be all right. Nana's getting better at learning kanji every month, isn't she, Kaede?"

Kaede nodded robotically, very aware that this teenage girl, deprived of more education than her, was still significantly more literate. Kaede could barely scribble the characters for her own name.

"I know you'll feel better about it when the time comes," Kohta went on. "Just review your notes after breakfast, and you'll be fine." At this, Nana gave a hopeful glance and a wide smile. She practically purred when Kohta patted her head, making Kaede feel as though despite Nana's growth and experience over the past few years, she was still a child at heart. But a good child, untainted by the evil living in their DNA.

The morning meal was quieter than usual, with Nana poring intently over her books in between bites of sausage. By this time, she was already clad in her uniform, and rushed to pack up her things as soon as she was done eating.

"Nana... Your ribbons..." Kaede said cooly, then sipping her tea.

"Oh, right," she said as she continued, pulling out two wide, purple ribbons tied into bows. The thick fabric would be enough to obscure Nana's horns, everyone believed. Kaede watched her expertly fasten them to her head as she thought about the past, when, as Nyu, she would do the same.

Did I really hide them in such a girly way? Kaede mused silently. It wasn't her decision of what to wear back then, anyway. And she was glad to be rid of her horns, which had only brought abuse and fear to her. But as for Nana...

"See you later!" Nana called, as she sped out the courtyard door. "It's all right if Mayu comes over after school, isn't it?"

"Yeah, you don't need to ask by now!" Kohta said, waving at her as she slid open the door to outside.

In the dining room, Kaede replaced her tea on the table, folding her hands as she sat.

"Horns..."

Why did Nana still have hers, when both of Kaede's were torn off? The obvious answer was that this was the damage Kaede had received from her final battles, the struggles to end the nightmare produced by the government and by herself. Her entire life, they were a stigma to Kaede; she always hated them, and now that the horns were gone, she had the freedom to blend into human society more freely. But why? Why did this happen? Why did Kaede survive that fight against hundreds of soldiers and police, and the old and twisted Kakuzawa at the center of it?

A familiar feeling swept over Kaede, not guilt, not astonishment, but something that made her feel like a fish out of water.

"I... don't deserve this..."

It was a strange feeling, indeed, to be in a position of calm and security after a lifetime of pain, but even stranger to be feeling so out of place, when she had every reason to be happy. Kaede thought back to the day she finally returned here, home, her life as a monster forever behind her. But it can't be that simple, Kaede thought. It was never that simple.


	2. Chapter 2

It had started at the end of the battle to which she thought there would be none left standing, and certainly not herself. Of the fighting, Kaede remembered relatively little. She could have been forcing her way through the waves of soldiers for over an hour, and yet it seemed to be just a matter of seconds in hindsight. A great stretch of exertion, pain, blood, and then... just the gentle lapping of the waves against the rocks.

Kaede opened her eyes. The dawn was just breaking. Once the hardness of the ground pressing into her back reached her, she realized, with a jerk onto her side, that she was still alive. The sudden movement produced extreme pain in her Kaede's left side, and she blacked out at once. The second time Kaede woke, the sharp pain was there from the start, building ever so slightly in intensity. Physically, she had never felt like this since she was a child. Rolling onto her side, much more carefully this time, Kaede gave in to nausea and vomited profusely. Most of it splattered onto the eviscerated corpse sprawled in front of the desk. With a pause, Kaede recognized the suit, as well as the severed head resting almost ceremonially on the desk's surface just above her. It was Kakuzawa, his crimson eyes still fixed in an intense gaze of hatred; his mouth gaping and indignant at the death that he knew was inevitable.

Moving away ever so slightly, Kaede took in the hideous sight for a while as she caught her breath. Just the appearance of Kakuzawa's furrowed brow and penetrating, sightless stare made her want to vomit again. His horns were plainly visible, just like those of his son when he had revealed himself to her, flesh-colored and stunted. Reflexively, she reached up to her head, but found only jagged, broken stumps barely covered by her hair.

"That's right," Kaede thought. "I lost them." She was barely aware of it when one horn had been broken off by Mariko, but now, in the aftermath of her struggle, the full realization that her other horn had now been shot off dawned on Kaede. There was some blood, but the injuries were greatly eclipsed by her other wounds. Her side, her arm, her hip... Everything could have been burnt away, for all she felt. Wiping her mouth slowly, Kaede gave a low, intensely quiet, rumbling laugh. Miniscule tears came to her eyes but didn't fall, as she leaned back in exhaustion, away from the blood-and-puke-soaked corpse, arms sprawled over her head on the floor.

So, what now? Kaede felt as though she should be doing something now, despite her lack of strength, but nothing came readily to mind. She had steeled herself for death, all for the goals of killing her enemies and ensuring Kohta's safety. Now they were gone, and Kaede remained. The pain that she felt shooting through her whole body was so... pointless, she thought. Unless… this was her punishment. Kaede would have laughed again, but she was too exhausted. No, this pain was immense, but there was no possible way it could provide equal restitution for the sorrow Kaede had caused Kohta, countless others, and herself.

The question was how long this corporeal pain would last. Surely she hadn't long left to live; she would succumb to her wounds, and death would take her. That was when the real punishment would begin. An eternity in the hell she knew full well she deserved. Kaede was resigned to her fate. She had been steadily preparing for it ever since meeting Kohta for the first time in eight years. However, she could never have predicted the nature of the reunion between the two, and Kohta's expression of love borne out of sadness. Kaede would have let Kohta done whatever he wanted to her when he held her back on those stone steps. She half-expected that he would kill her outright, or else torture her to release his hatred. But Kohta's words made Kaede feel ashamed to remember the gregarious little boy from so long ago, and how he would never have done something so selfish.

Ever since the fateful day when Kohta's family died at her hand, Kaede was determined to distance herself from him, ensuring no harm befell him, and no more sadness came his way on account of her. Indirectly, she felt, she had brought that back after all, beginning with Kaede's new infantile personality washing up on the beach practically into Kohta's arms. Unintentional, perhaps, but allowing him to become attached to a brain-damaged alteration felt so cruel. And now that her brain injury had healed, Nyu was never coming back.

In her increasingly drowsy state, Kaede wasn't sure where the thought to move to the broken window ended and her action to move there began. Yes, it was much kinder to Kohta that she fade out, now that she had done her duty. Any future rejoining between them would be counterproductive. Slowly, Kaede peeled off her stockings. Some of the blood had already started to clot, and her vision blurred whenever a wound reopened. Still, she continued without pause, slowly, very slowly. The dress was harder to remove, partially on account of the greater number of bullet wounds to her torso, and partially due to the twisting Kaede had to do to free herself from the stain-hardened shell. Just when she felt her spine was going to break in half, it was off.

Panting raggedly, Kaede made a last feeble effort to remove the ribbon around her neck and her underwear. The bra took some time. Truthfully, she had only ever put on a bra once, getting dressed in Nyu's clothes after the younger Kakuzawa's attempted rape. Taking it off was easier, though still a great labor in her condition.

Kaede dropped down once the last article of clothing left her body. She resisted the urge to shut her eyes, keeping them open until fresh tears swelled to the surface. Taking as deep a breath as she could manage, Kaede gently rolled over, crawled on all fours to the opening in the glass, and raised her head. As always, her long bangs obscured her face, revealing just one bloodshot eye framed by a muddle of blood and tears. Kaede thought that the early morning air was kind of nice as it blew in through the hole. It was mild and slightly salty, just like his lips.

"Kohta..." Kaede breathed, and she closed her eyes, slammed her vectors into the desk, and hurtled out into the void. The last thing she heard was the gentle lapping of the waves.

* * *

The next several days passed like minutes, with no real distinction between night and day. There was no coherent train of thought, nor was there awareness of her surroundings. At long last, a woman's voice trickled into Kaede's ear.

"-going to take time, obviously. We're only here because we can't take her to a hospital. The important thing is that her wounds are stabilized. We just have to wait until she wakes up."

As Kaede gradually opened her eyes, the dimly-lit room revealed the speaker, a woman with glasses she had never seen before, and… him. Kaede thought vaguely that she should be shocked, but seeing the one she loved only brought a light smile to her face, and fresh falling tears. Arakawa gasped, and jerked back involuntarily. Kohta didn't move, but locked eyes with Kaede, his face already wet, but composed.

"Kohta," said Kaede. Her smile did not falter. "Oh, Kohta."

The man kneeling over her bent down and gave Kaede the most delicate of embraces. Seeing the two touching one another for the span of two, then three heartbeats, Arakawa let out her breath and inched forward.

"Lucy… My name is Arakawa. I've been treating you after Kohta found you here."

"And where… is this?"

"It's Kaede House, Ny… Lucy," said Kohta, outwardly calm, but his voice shaking. "One day, you just… came to my front door and collapsed."

"I don't… remember any of that."

"You were in shock. I did what I could for you; I don't have a medical degree. It was easier to treat your wounds since you must have removed the bullets yourself," said Arakawa, sitting respectfully on the tatami mat.

Another thing Kaede had no recollection of. It wouldn't have been the first time her vectors had moved on their own, even as she slept. Now turning to the nervous woman in glasses, Kaede's head grew clearer.

"Who are you?"

Arakawa explained her situation to Kaede, as well as how she came into contact with Kohta through the university records she had hid. The attack made on the island facility by Kaede had given Arakawa the opportunity to attempt an escape. In going to Kohta's house to warn him of the danger he was in, Arakawa had stumbled upon the mess Kohta had found, reunited with Kaede. Even without her horns, even with all the blood, Arakawa knew Kaede for what she was. She made no mention of the imprisoned Silpelits, and Kaede did not ask about them. Kaede didn't ask why the woman had likely saved her life, either. Once Arakawa was finished talking, Kaede simply nodded, and turned her head to the side, resting.

Looking slightly dazed, Arakawa gave a nod to Kohta, who nodded back, and watched her edge out of the room, looking back once before sliding the door shut. After a few seconds, before Kohta or Kaede could say anything, the door was yanked back open.

"Kohta? Is Nyu…?"

Yuka entered, moving quickly to the side of the futon on which Kaede lay.

"Thank… Thank God," she said, touching Kaede's hair gently. Kaede noticed how red Yuka's eyes were, as well as a sense of uneasiness coming from her. This was different from the uneasiness shown by Arakawa, and was highlighted by quick glances Yuka made between the lying Kaede and Kohta.

"Yuka, Nyu got her memories back. Her name was Lucy, all along," said Kohta. "She can talk now, too."

"Lucy… Are you okay?" said Nana, slowly coming in, moving toward the others. Her youthful face showed nothing of fear or anger, but genuine concern, and even, Kaede was astounded to see, pity.

"Don't… be worried about me," Kaede found herself saying.

"But how…" Yuka began, but Kohta cut her off.

"Listen, Yuka, Nana. Right now, Lucy needs rest. Her wounds are getting better, but she's just now woken up for the first time in days, and she must be tired."

With a pause, but without a word, Yuka, put a hand on Nana's shoulder and exited. After endless moments more of staring, Kohta rose, and turned to leave, but Kaede tugged at his sleeve. Neither of them said anything, but remained where they were. Kaede was taken aback when Kohta spoke first.

"I think I know what you want," he said. She cast her gaze downward, and let her hand fall. "Don't... Don't think I'm trying to be cruel, but... what makes you think I want to give it to you? Do you expect me to be grateful for what you did the other night, and just forget about what you did to me when we were children?"

"No! Kohta, that's the farthest thing from my mind!"

Sitting up, Kaede held onto his arm with both hands, pulling him gently. "You should know that I don't care about my own happiness at all." Tears threatened to spill from her dark red eyes, and Kaede said: "Kohta, I need punishment. I want you to take out all your hate, all your anger on me."

Kohta took half a step back in shock, his mouth agape. "What..."

"Please, Kohta," said Kaede, as she moved her forehead to the floor. "Rape me. Beat me. Kill me. Do whatever you have to do."

"You must be crazy," replied Kohta, wiping sweat from his brow. "Is that what you really want? What makes you think I can do that to you, in the first place? What will that accomplish?! That's-"

His words fell short as Kaede uneasily got to her feet, throwing her arms around Kohta's neck. He grit his teeth.

"Nyu..."

"That's it," Kaede said, drawing back. There was the slightest smile on her face. "And my name... the name I should have given you when I was a little girl... It's Kaede."

It was as though her words triggered something in Kohta. A palpable fury ignited in him; Kaede felt it as he slowly took hold of her shoulders. The pressure he used to grip her was just past her threshold of pain, but Kaede didn't cry out. As Kohta's hands moved again, and opened her yukata, letting it fall to the floor, Kaede rested her head on his shoulder in silent resignation. She felt Kohta's hands slide over her still-tender flesh, pressing ever deeper. As one hand paused over the bandage on her arm, it started to squeeze.

"Ah!"

"Are you enjoying this?" Kohta asked her in a flat, even voice. Kaede buckled from the sudden pain, and thought she would collapse. Kohta, brutally, but with calm and deliberation, took hold of Kaede and lowered her to the futon like a lover would.

"Of course not," Kaede answered. "But I need this. You need this."

"I... don't understand. I don't understand what I'm doing, but I'm doing it."

"Give into it, Kohta," Kaede said soothingly, reaching up stroke his face.

After a brief pause, Kohta snatched her arm away, and forced it downwards. It was left pinned to the floor, and Kaede began to feel truly trapped as Kohta seized her other arm. Lying on her back like this, Kaede just watched as Kohta surveyed her naked body, keeping her forced into place.

Kohta had seen her nude before, but that was only her body, and not the full presence of Kaede. In reacting to Nyu's nakedness, Kohta had always averted his gaze as best he could towards Nyu's helpless state. But now, given mastery over her, he was free to look wherever he pleased; to look, and to touch. Kohta struggled to comprehend the simple truth that it was his choice whether the young woman under him would feel pleasure or pain. At the moment, he hesitated, unsure of his goal.

Kohta swallowed, his initial hate melting into some feeling he couldn't place. Without really thinking, he drew his trembling arm back. Her face remained impassive. Though the broken flesh gave way under the pressure of a caress, Kaede's expression was unaltered. Finally, the tears flowed freely, and Kohta sobbed hard, turning his face away from his would-be victim. It was only then that Kaede's own face darkened, and choking on her tears, pulled Kohta clumsily to her in as tight an embrace as she dared.


	3. Chapter 3

The next three years passed without a sense of violent upheaval at Kaede House, or at least nothing as violent as the previous three months. Arakawa kept coming to check up on Kaede's recovery, and to inform Kohta of any suspicious activity at the university. There never was any issue of harassment, and not even any police officers arrived at the inn to ask questions. Eventually, Arakawa and Kohta came to a mutual understanding that they were safe. However, Arakawa left the university, deciding to fall back on her degree and work at a biotech company in Tokyo. Kohta withdrew from all of his courses, as a way of coping with his life's recent trauma, thought Yuka. With the permission of his aunt and uncle, Kohta took steps to refurbish Kaede House, making it into a Japanese-style inn once again.

Yuka took her cousin's decision with mixed feelings. After a short time of reflection, she chose to move back into her apartment, taking Mayu to live with her. From then on, Yuka would work alongside Kohta and Kaede to manage the inn, but she seemed resigned to the two living and working together under the same roof. As for Nana, though she was loath to see Mayu and Wanta live separately from her, she saw how cramped Yuka's apartment was becoming, and opted to stay with Kaede and Kohta.

Whether from motivations of guilt or pure benevolence, Arakawa occasionally helped the others with what she could. As Nana grew in height, Arakawa visited to provide extensions for her artificial limbs to match her growth. Kohta, and especially Nana, thanked her warmly, though they did not ask the particulars of where the prosthetics came from. Even after the heavy loss of Kurama, Nana got more and more used to life at Kaede House, working part-time in running the inn to help the adults. Work was Nana's favorite thing, because that was when she got to see Mayu, who was employed there as well.

By her own inclination, Nana became resolved to go to school. Beginning with basic learning that Mayu and Yuka helped her with, Nana's resilience and innate skill paid off. Her remedial education allowed her to eventually enroll in the same high school as Mayu. When she found out she had been accepted, Nana was ecstatic. Kaede House held a party in her honor, and Nana thanked everyone for supporting her. She even embraced Kaede with the others, prompting a blush and weak smile from the latter before she returned the hug.

That night, lying in a futon in a room to herself, Nana wept silently even as her mouth curved into a wide smile.

"Papa… Can you see me, Papa? I've learned so many things already, but now I'm going to learn even more, and make you really proud!" Nana whispered as she finally shut her eyes, hugging herself under the warm quilt.

Even at the age of entering high school, Nana was still fascinated by the everyday things that were denied her for the majority of her life. And clothes were a wonder themselves to put on and wear. The first clothes Nana had ever worn she remembered from her days at the facility. The lady who used to work with her Papa put them on her quickly, but carefully, and though Nana initially felt they were too confining, she got used to them as a proper fit. Besides, that day she had been too happy to mind much, after her Papa gave her clothes of her very own. Though she had paid attention to the way the lady had clothed her with socks, shoes, underwear, and a simple dress, Nana had for some time afterwards trouble dressing herself. Luckily, Mayu was always there to give a helping hand. Putting on a bra took the longest to get used to.

"Mayu, why is your face turning that color?" Nana had asked, the dark-haired girl blushing fiercely as she fidgeted in front of her.

It was not long after Nana came to Kaede House that Yuka had purchased clothes more befitting the adolescent girls now living with her and her cousin. This included brassieres for the younger Diclonius. One of these was held gingerly by Nana as she gave a look of concern at Mayu's discomfort.

"I... need you to turn around, Nana."

"Oh, to put this on, right?" said Nana, putting her back to Mayu. "Why do I need to wear this, anyway? I haven't seen you wear one before."

The redness in Mayu's face deepened as she came close and took the garment from Nana. "Well, I'm... not as... not as..."

Nana looked down, catching on. "...Big?"

"Y-Yes!" Mayu responded, flustered. "And this will help keep them from moving around so much."

"You don't have to feel bad," said Nana, turning around. Her smile was genuine as she appreciated a basic understanding of Mayu's embarrassment. Mayu looked to the ceiling. "My chest wasn't this big about a year ago; we're the same age, so you'll be just as big soon enough."

"N-Nana! You're a year younger than me, got it? You said I could pick your birthday, and the one I picked was…"

Mayu bit her tongue and trailed off when she realized that what she was speaking wasn't helping how she really felt. It was true, though, that Mayu had convinced Nana that she should celebrate her birthday on the same date that the two girls had become friends. And so Nana's fourteenth birthday was celebrated little over a month after Mayu's fifteenth. In truth, from the earliest time of the two knowing each other, Mayu was slightly jealous that a girl almost the same age as her was relatively so well-developed.

Rather than be reassured by this girl's encouragement, Mayu quailed more under Nana's words. She didn't have the heart to tell Nana that her feelings about her own body weren't the entire issue. Steeling herself, Mayu grabbed Nana's bare shoulders and pivoted her around to face the mirror.

"Okay! I'll show you how to put one on."

Nana watched intently as Mayu put the bra on her, feeling a slight trembling when her instructor touched her. Speaking the steps aloud, Mayu inwardly thought about how nice it would be if Nana could put it on her next. Knowing that her usual camisole would do for the time being, Mayu brushed aside the silly thought as she stepped away from her friend.

"How does it feel?"

"Tight," said Nana, staring wondrously at her reflection as she tried to see herself from all angles.

"Yuka measured you, so it should be the right size. I think it's important to wear one if you're moving a lot, so you should get used to it."

"Do I look okay? I've never seen anyone wear a bra before."

"You look..." Mayu felt a fresh wave of affection for Nana fall over her, and she couldn't help but smile. "You look cute! I think you look really cute." It was true, though Mayu couldn't explain why she felt differently about Nana than she would about any other cute thing. It was the way that the Diclonius girl was beaming back at her, dressed in a smart, white bra and panties, that made her look so special.

"Aw, Mayu!" said Nana, and threw her arms around Mayu's waist. Mayu wondered whether Nana could hear her hammering heart as she hugged her back, enjoying the warmth of the larger-chested girl.

"Thank you for showing me how to put it on. I promise I'll practice doing it lots!"

It wasn't until years later that Mayu would convince herself that she wasn't in love with Nana. Noticing how the other girls at her school would talk about boys, and seeing less and less of Nana as they lived with different people, Mayu fell back into thinking of Nana as a friend. A special friend, but a friend nevertheless. Mayu even went on a few dates with male classmates once she entered high school, though no serious relationships came of it. In quiet moments, she might have considered her past abuse playing a role in this, but Mayu always shifted that dark chapter of her life to the back of her mind.

Now that Nana was going to the same school as her, though one grade behind, Mayu felt the joy that came with seeing a valued friend regularly once more. Of course, with the passage of time and enrollment in school came the normalcy of everyday tasks that seemed totally alien to Nana at the time she was first set free. In this way, Nana and Mayu felt like they could relate to one another slightly better. Dressing and cooking came fairly smoothly to the Diclonius girl, and eventually school was something Nana developed a great passion for. Part of her enthusiasm came from going with Mayu to learn interesting things she had never heard of before, but the happiness was also borne out of a feeling of fitting in with others her age, feeling normal and unafraid.

"As long as my horns are hidden," Nana thought naively, "everyone will be nice to me."

So, on that chilly morning that Nana set out from Kaede House, the teenage girl was grinning and humming tunelessly in spite of the cold. As she walked the now-familiar path to her school, the Sun appeared and warmed Kamakura considerably, like it was Nana's mood that called forth the warmth. The looming Japanese test of that day was becoming more distant from her mind, as Nana thought only of the coming end of the day, when she was used to walking home with Mayu.

"So many beautiful things in this world," Nana said to herself, swinging her school bag back and forth. Looking toward the sparkling sea, and then to the fragrant blossoms opposite, she inhaled and sighed. "Papa, I'll see you again, but I'm going to spend as long as I can right here. Okay?"

Homeroom for Nana's class began a little later than usual. She made a habit of adjusting and securing her ribbons in the girls' washroom after arriving. But even spending an extra moment admiring her scarlet uniform did not make Nana late today. She was going to review her notes while she had time, but then homeroom began.

"Everyone, we have a new student joining us," intoned the teacher at the front. "He should be joining us in just a moment or–"

The classroom door slid crisply, though not quickly. In stepped a handsome youth with medium-length black hair, tousled oddly for a boy his age. Standing next to the teacher, he put a hand on his hip and smiled at the gaping mouths of the girls in the front row. Noting peripherally that Nana was staring too, a seatmate turned her head and was shocked by a look of utmost horror on Nana's face.

"Hello, everyone," said the boy, his red eyes glittering. "My name is Shin Kakuzawa. But I prefer to be called Shin, please."


	4. Chapter 4

"Could I talk to you?"

Nana flinched at the sound, even though she had felt him approaching. Shin's voice was gentle, but cold and clear, and he spoke to others as a superior would. The other girls in the class had immediately become infatuated with the new student, and they hadn't noticed at all Nana's withdrawal from the boy.

"This won't take long," Shin said, and smiled his closed-lip smile. Nana was incredulous to see him hold out his hand, his long fingers beckoning.

Then, for reasons Nana could never explain, even far into the future as a very old woman, she rose to her unsteady feet. Seconds passed while Nana stood pigeon-toed, smoothing her short skirt. Shin was motionless. At last, Nana moved her trembling hand into Shin's grasp, and dared to look at him.

The Diclonius felt her uneasiness slide as she made eye contact with the handsome boy, though it was not replaced by reassurance. Nana's pink eyes studied Shin's crimson ones while gleaning no insight past their matte steadiness.

"Shameless…" came a low gossiping voice out of earshot from them, as the boy and girl moved through the crowd and turned the hall's corner.

* * *

Kaede House, while only in its second year of operation, was not the money pit that Kohta's aunt and uncle had envisioned. Somehow, the out-of-the-way establishment turned a small profit with the combined efforts of its staff. Yuka, Mayu, and Nana all had other commitments, but they did what they could to assist Kohta and Kaede in their partnership.

Though the inn was now reverted to its former function as a Japanese-style lodging house, it still served as a home for Kaede, Kohta, and Nana. There was something comforting about living and working in the same building, and Kaede could see this in Kohta without asking him about it. If she asked herself, she wouldn't want to call this place 'home', but she was content to be here, all the same. Wherever Kohta was, that's where Kaede would be.

The tourist season in Kamakura was winding to a close, and the recently cool temperatures had not helped to sustain it. There was only one guest still staying at Kaede House, which meant that Nana and Mayu weren't called upon as often. Nevertheless, Nana, living at the inn, took it upon herself to help informally when she had a spare moment. However, even informally, the girl was always dressed in her pink kimono, and it went without saying that decorations of ribbons or flowers always occluded her horns.

Takeshi Yamanote was in his 80s, a life-long bachelor, who had deigned to soak up his retirement while he figured he was still mobile. It had only been a few years since Yamanote gave up the suit-and-tie life and set out to tour as much of Japan as he possibly could. There was no end planned to this trip; Yamanote understood that the cancer would render him an invalid in anywhere from a month to a year from now. It was the second time he had been to Kamakura on this particular trip, but the first he had ever noticed the little Kaede House.

This was a curious inn, indeed. The minimal staff shouldn't have been surprising, given the small size of the place, but what drew him to it was its isolation amongst the Western-style houses that were ubiquitous in that part of town. Kaede House was close to the beach, and Yamanote thought that prime real estate like that would have since been taken up and redeveloped into something more modern and residential. And yet the Japanese-style inn remained. Yamanote took it as an abstract sign, and rented a room. His faith in this was half-whimsical, but only half. Never very spiritual before, or believing in signs, Yamanote found himself slowly embracing ideas of the world beyond that of the living; not dogmatically, but regarding whatever gave the old man fragments of comfort.

Kaede House was a fine inn. Yamanote knew from conversing with his hosts that the place had only been open a couple of years, re-established mostly by the young man and woman who ate with him at dinner. They were a pair unlike any innkeeping couple Yamanote had come across before. The man, Kohta, was gracious and accommodating, but looked somehow strained and distant at times. He could be speaking politely and looking past his guest at the same time, though his guest was never truly disconcerted. This palpable unease in Kohta gave Yamanote a sense of veiled fragility from the younger man.

His partner, Kaede, had the same fragility, but it was veiled behind such intense professionalism and crisp beauty that Yamanote almost didn't notice. The woman was usually wearing a dark purple kimono decorated with spidery white tree limbs. Her rich, vivid hair was kept done up in the classical Japanese style, leaving several strands always dangling free around her white neck. Kaede had a piercing red gaze, but this never seemed intrusive or intimidating to Yamanote. The hard look coming from under Kaede's long bangs was meshed with a becoming smile of service and dedication. And yet there was a sadness shining through her focused eyes that Yamanote could not ignore. It was the same sadness that was in the young man's eyes, of that he could be sure. But beyond this, the old man failed to see how such despondency could have any relation to the charming inn and its managers. He didn't ask questions; Yamanote learned long ago that the hidden things in others were better left untouched.

One night, Yamanote awoke with the familiar urge in his old age to relieve himself. Upon stepping out of the toilet into the hall on the first floor, a flash of pink in the gloom made him turn his head to the staircase.

More surprised than he should have been, Yamanote saw the short, pink-haired attendant slowly descend the stairs. She was sleep-walking, from her vacant, steady gaze. This was the first time Yamanote had seen the young woman out of the yukata she wore for work. Nana wore shorts and a sleeveless tank top, and… none of the usual hair ornaments.

_Horns._

Yamanote blinked, dumbfounded, as he observed that, in the absence of the ribbons or flamboyant floral adornments that were daily on Nana's head, two short, bony protrusions jutted from her temples, rising triangularly from the pink mess of her hair.

Nana reached the wood paneling of the ground floor, and in the silent house her bare feet made clear but soft sounds on the polished surface.

"Wait."

Nana's eyes became focused, and she looked to be caught off-balance as she woke up. Yamanote immediately regretted speaking, but his initial surprise rebounded as the strange girl turned and looked him full in the face. She gasped, and stumbled backward.

"Sorry! I just –"

Reaching out a hand in a vague helpful gesture, the old man was quiet when one of Nana's legs detached as she landed hard on her bottom, flipping over and landing with a thud. Immediately, an unseen force held the limb and locked it back into place, but Yamanote had seen.

"Wahhh…"

Nana made an inarticulate exclamation, and drew a hand over her mouth, occluding her blushing face.

_She's… embarrassed?_

Yamanote was starting to sweat. He smiled gently and knelt, slowly taking the strange girl's other hand.

"It's all right," was all he could say. "Uh, how about we have a talk over some tea, if you don't mind? I'm sure we'd both feel better."

Nana stopped shivering, and with a pensive face, let the old man with the wet brow help her to her feet.

With surreal familiarity, the horned young woman drew a chair for the guest in the kitchen, and set out a small tea service while the water boiled. She was visibly shaken, and her naked limbs trembled slightly, but Nana's movements were clean and what Yamanote would expect of an attendant at the finest inn he had patronized in Kyoto.

"Um, I've never met anyone like you, but… are you a _zashiki warashi_? A house spirit?"

Nana blinked.

"My mother used to tell stories about girls like you. Like beings that would look after houses in secret when the owners were out. You're… such a good housekeeper, I just thought that…"

Yamanote trailed off, as though he feared his supposition would scare her away, back into the realm of imagination. He was relieved when Nana's reddened face shone up at him with trust and warmth.

"Yes. But… there aren't many like me left, so, could you keep it a secret? My… horns, I mean. And my leg."

"Of course," said Yamanote, graciously. "You have nothing to fear. And I'm not afraid of you, even though you have horns. There's no way that you could be an _oni_ or some bad spirit, I'm sure."

Nana blushed, and she clasped her hands in front of her hips. The kettle boiled, and she prepared some green tea.

The two sipped their drinks side-by-side in the sitting room, facing the door to the porch, which, being chilly outside, they left shut.

"Aren't you cold, miss?" said Yamanote, clutching his tea and wrapping his yukata closer. He glanced platonically at Nana's bare arms and legs.

"I'm okay. My arms and legs never feel more than they have to. And I've spent most of my life not wearing any clothes, so I'm used to the cold."

Yamanote wasn't sure how to respond. He had no idea why this otherworldly girl would lie to him, but given her horns and her detachable leg, he wasn't sure what to believe. His eyes passing as chastely as he could over Nana's form, Yamanote could see very fine scars passing over the circumference of her limbs. They looked almost like doll joints, at equal lengths at Nana's upper arms and thighs. Were _all_ of her limbs detachable? If she was truly a _zashiki warashi_, the old legends had never described one like this. And yet Yamanote clung to that as the only description he could give to the girl. Not knowing was…

"Listen, is something on your mind, dear?" Yamanote couldn't think of anything else to say. He thought that his odd acquaintance was uncomfortable. "Why don't you tell me? I've already promised I would keep a big secret for you, so I'm sure anything else must be very small."

"Mr. Yamanote," said Nana. "What should you do… if someone you've just met says that they love you?"

Yamanote put down his teacup. He was as surprised as the instant he saw the girl's horns. It was as though he were talking to an ordinary teenager, he thought.

"Well, uh..."

"It's just someone I know!" said Nana, as though she were apologizing. "Today, he confessed his love for me out of nowhere. The strangest thing is I get a feeling from him… this weird feeling that I can't ignore. It was there even before he confessed."

Yamanote took a moment to collect himself.

_This is a _zashiki warashi_. A good demon. What does that tell you?_

From the stories he had heard in his childhood, Yamanote was aware of the recurring theme of supernatural beings seducing mortals. The concept of a human man declaring his love for a woman not of this world was backward to him; absurd, even. It was just as bizarre as actually meeting someone like Nana.

Looking into Nana's big pink eyes, Yamanote took in her nervous but imploring mien, and the very human confusion etched on her young face. Yamanote's thoughts slowed, and he felt that, right now, Nana was simply a girl looking for answers in her life, like any other.

"Miss, whoever this person is, I think he is someone who is in tune with the world you come from. I have a feeling that he immediately saw you for who you really are, and that the two of you are meant to be because of that. Give him some time, but remember that this person has the sight and the will to bridge the gap between worlds. I think that's beautiful, personally. Don't be afraid of him."

The two sat and chatted for another hour or so, mostly about Yamanote and his travels. The old man was impressed that a teenage girl would pay attention to his ramblings. His brother's grandchildren were never this kind. But then, they weren't horned spirits, either. Yamanote didn't ask Nana any more questions; he felt as though getting too intimate with a _youkai_ or other supernatural entity was profane in a sense. He wasn't concerned about being cursed, but rather he feared that the girl might dissipate like smoke if he picked too much at the fantastical truth he had discovered.

With a kind word, Yamanote walked Nana back to her room and said goodnight, taking pleasure in the relief in her glowing face. Less than a minute later, Yamanote was back in his room and immediately asleep.

* * *

Kaede House's last guest checked out early, not long after day broke, but Nana was there to help Yamanote bring his luggage across the small inn's wide courtyard. Seeing her in a coral-pink kimono, and with orange lilies decorating her hair, Yamanote felt as though little had changed in Nana's presentation. She was as smiling and helpful as she was when he had checked in. Her horns weren't visible now under the orange petals, but knowing that they were there made Yamanote feel a more solid link with the other world, the world yet to come, and the one he would soon reach on his own.

Climbing into the waiting taxi, Yamanote saw Nana give him a girlish wave at the outer door's threshold. Perhaps her nature as a _zashiki warashi_ prevented her from leaving the courtyard. Yamanote's hand twitched in the impulse to wave back, but the door was shut, and Nana was gone.


End file.
